I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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