He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
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He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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