We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize