forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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