broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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