i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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