Just fell off a train. Bad.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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