lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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