girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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