Fine. I'll sleep in my office
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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