I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize