I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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