ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
accomplished twins. life is a go
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
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i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
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Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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