This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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