8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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