I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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