I cockslap morals
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We were destined to go to rehab together
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize