Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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