after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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