dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
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So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
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congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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