so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
false alarm. still invincible.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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