He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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