Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We are two peas in an std pod
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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