I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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