just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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