TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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