I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize