Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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