he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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