she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize