New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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