There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize