i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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