pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize