I'm gonna have a badass scar
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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