But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize