I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
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Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
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He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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