Pappa wants mamma naked
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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