Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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