Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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