What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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