dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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