I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize