So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize