it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
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U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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