dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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