its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize