how can u be prego again
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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