I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize