I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
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i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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