that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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