do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
time to smoke my breakfast
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize